The above video basically describes my life for the past week. As I shared earlier this week, I got engaged and so my mind is one big fluffy mass of love and wedding venues. I am a walking hazard because I will suddenly get distracted by my ring and veer off course. Yesterday at work I literally collided with a coworker coming around the corner for this very reason. I really need to take care while driving.
But yes. I’m in love. I’m in love! And I don’t care who knows it!
I promise this blog won’t just turn into a forum for my mushy gushy love thoughts. I am going somewhere here.
The point is that for a while I’ve been feeling a lack of inspiration. I set out this year to be as healthy as I could be, but I’ve still managed to backslide, lose course, let stress take over, etc. I’m not discounting my progress, because I have definitely made progress. As my trainer astutely pointed out a couple weeks ago, these are not setbacks, they are part of the journey. But at the end of April, I was feeling decidedly lacking in inspiration.
I met with my trainer to do a Biosignature to kick off my leaning and loving experiment. He took note of my lack of inspiration, and advised me to find some. He shared with me his big inspiration, and very moving story of why that is. In a nutshell, he wants to be a great dad and be around for his kids for a long time. I think kids are a game changer for everyone. But, I don’t have them, and won’t for a while, so what’s a childless girl to do?
Find something else!
Jeff recommended I read the book, The Passion Test. Reading and I are not so much besties right now, so I got the audiobook. It’s a little cheesy, but I actually really like it so far. They have you make a list of the things that you would be doing or would have in your ideal life and then narrow it down to your top five passions. I’m in the narrowing phase right meow. But already, I am starting to see the disconnects between some of the things I’ve been spending my time and attention on and what I’m truly passionate about. More to come as I work through that process.
Here’s a couple of things I’ve realized though that are my current inspiration: for me to be the best fiancee, blogger, dance teacher, wedding planner, employee I can, I need to feel good. By the end of April I really did not feel good at all. Physically I did not feel good, and that always holds you back. But even more so, when I’m eating crappy food my emotions are a DISASTER. So my upcoming marriage has made me realize a couple of things:
- I want to feel my best during this very special time. I want to be totally present and calm as we prepare for marriage and plan a giant party to celebrate it.
- I want to be a great partner to my fiance, now and forever. He is a wonderful man, and I know that I can be less than wonderful sometimes – especially when I am not feeling well, am tired, and stressed. He deserves the best, and I want to be my best for him.
- Being engaged means taking lots of pictures. Lots. And lots. And LOTS. I want to look back at my engagement and wedding photos and think “hot damn I looked good!” Not only do I want to feel good, but I want to look great – for myself and for my future husband.
Right now, the above are floating me and being my inspiration. I’m sure sources of inspiration are like most other things – they come and go. They shift. I’m sure mine will too. But right now, I’m realizing that I want this time of my life to be as close to perfect as I can. Feeling badly, having gluten-driven anxiety, being sleep deprived, and not being happy with how I look are NOT a part of close to perfect.
I would love to hear other people’s inspirations. It’s inspiring to hear how others are inspired. Please share!
(Inspire is a really weird word when you type it so many times.)